Thank You, Kevin Seifert

In the previous post, there are a few points where I explain how I can't explain what is quite wrong with this year's team. They seem like they should perform better than their record indicates. Kevin Seifert is the NFC North writer for ESPN's NFL Nation Blog, and really hit the nail on the head about this year's team, IMO.

I’ve seen some bad Vikings teams over the years. Their teams in 2001, 2002 and 2006 were especially inept. The 2011 team doesn’t feel like an undermanned or incompetent team. And yet they’re one of four teams in Vikings history to start 0-4. If they don’t beat the Arizona Cardinals on Sunday, the Vikings will be 0-5 for the first time since 1962.

So obviously, 0-5 is an unfamiliar territory for this team. It's comforting knowing the odds are against us dropping another one next Sunday, but at the same time, the odds have been against the Vikings dropping their first three games in the manner that they did.

Requiem for a Team: Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2011 Minnesota Vikings

I'm trying to find the right  analogy for a person choosing to blog about a sports team, then watching that team go winless in the first quarter of their season. It's like signing up for a History of Rock course and the professor using Simple Plan and Nickelback as their main topics for the first month. Having been a Vikings fan as long as I have, I should have known this came with the territory. Hell, it was even predicted by me in my regular season projections that this team could very well start 0-5 with a couple bad bounces. Something about this particular season seems to really stink though. I can't put my finger in on it. At least after the Vikings fell 22-17 at the hands of the Chiefs this week, I can write a new entry since we didn't have a humongous second-half lead to give up in order to achieve this loss. This was a mostly boring game, indicative of two terrible teams, featuring more field goals than touchdowns. The season began with optimism, and even after the first 3 games there was clearly a team that looked like it had something. At 0-4, it doesn't matter. Check your statistics if you think otherwise. 0-4 teams don't make the playoffs in the National Football League. Donovan McNabb, you can hand over that football (or can you?!) to Christian Ponder, grab some pine, a clipboard, and collect the rest of your year's salary before getting the hell out of town. You suck. Phil Loadholt and Charlie Johnson may as well be tackling dummies, because they have no clue what to do when the call isn't a run. Bill Musgrave, this year might be your lone year of coordinating anyone's offense. This team has me downright pissed off.  It should not be a surprise to anyone, yet it surprises me every week how the Vikings find innovative ways to piss games down their own legs. Many stink eyes to come, after the jump.

If Football Games Lasted 30 Minutes, We'd be 3-0: Lions 26, Vikings 23 (OT)

So here's my Tuesday post following yet another 2nd half collapse, which if you are a Vikings fan, you have already read and heard about every aspect of the Vikings 2nd half suckitude by now. In the spirit of that, I am not going to be writing about the game at all. I may post a bit of a diagnosis later on this week about what I think is wrong with this team, but there is really nothing to sum up that I didn't already say in my week 1 and 2 summaries. You are going to hear the same things over and over ad nauseum until next week: McNabb is not accurate enough, we need to give the ball to AD more in the 2nd half, the defense is good but cannot sustain being on the field for 20+  minutes in the second half, and we need to quit committing stupid/untimely penalties (I'm looking at you, Kenny Onatulu).

After Sunday's result, things are not looking good for this year's team. I thought last year was the ultimate sh*tstorm, but now I wonder what the rest of this season has in store for our squad. My optimism and high hopes going into the season are all but gone, and we now must watch the next 13 games as cynical assholes, because everything we've seen and heard from these Vikings sounds like complete sh*t.

/head asplode.

If Football Games Lasted 30 Minutes, We'd be 2-0: Bucs 24, Vikings 20

Benn Scorin'

        On their home opener, in front of a raucous sellout crowd, the Vikings jumped all over the Buccaneers with an efficient passing attack, explosive runs by Adrian Peterson AND Toby "Phenom" Gerhart, and solid defense. Sound familiar? They went into halftime with yours truly feeling excited to see them continue to play superior football and write about it afterward. Two weeks into the regular season, I'm already feeling a little repetitive. During the first half, I'm all like ZOMG THE VIKEZ R AWSOM!!1! But then the second half starts and the Vikings are all, FFFFFUUUUUUUU.

The Bucs came out and stopped us on our first drive of the second half (thanks in large part to a very questionable holding penalty on what would have been a converted 3rd down) then promptly marched 44 yards in two plays for a touchdown. After the ensuing recovered surprise onside kick, there was a feeling of an impending collapse in my gut. In true Minnesota Viking fashion, we allowed Tampa Bay to drop 24 points on us (including 14 in the final seven minutes) and pry the victory from their brittle, fatigued little Viking fingers. Pundits and talking heads from the the axis of evil and other news sources may say that we have been "out-adjusted" during halftime the past two games. I call bullcrap. How much can a coach do in 15 minutes to render an entire offense stagnant and a defense largely ineffective? This is a matter of sound decision making on the part of the players in clutch situations, a lack of playmakers on both sides of the ball, and endurance. I'll elaborate further after the jump.

Reality hits you hard bro.

Game 1 Recap: Chargers-Vikings

         So the regular season has begun. By now, you probably have all heard about two or three things related to the game: A.)Percy Harvin gave the Vikings possibly their best start to a season in franchise history with a 103-yard opening kickoff return for a touchdown ( during which he also knocked one of the top kickers in the game out for the season--next time you'll know your role Nate Kaeding), B.) Donovan McNabb and our passing game compiled a whopping 39 yards, and C.) the game ended after 3 encroachment penalties, including ones on back-to-back snaps. I first cannot describe the great mood I was in on Sunday. I rarely take the initiative to start boozin' when I am alone, but the return of NFL football en masse was enough to get me pounding down some brewskies in excitement. By the end of a great first half by the Vikes, my mood definitely hit it's peak for the day. Up 17-7, we looked in good position to walk out of week 1 undefeated. Yes, the Chargers shot themselves in the foot with unnecessary penalties occasionally and missed a sure touchdown pass as King Laserface Phillip Rivers floated one just out of the reach of one Vincent Jackson, but the boys were playing good defense, tackling well and getting some strong pressure at times on the QB. The second half was absolutely mind-numbing. I really can't even tell you what I was watching. Swing pass, swing pass, 10-yard in to Gates. Repeat as necessary.  The offense showed me nothing. I'm not even positive they ever came on the field, to be honest. I am happy to announce that I recently ordered a Joe Montana Chiefs '94 throwback jersey, however. It's gonna be dope. Anyway, more after the jump. (My first jump!!!)